Thursday, November 30, 2006

Tight Math

Of course I haven't come up with this idea on my own. Since when have I had an original thought in anything? In the age of instant communication, 400 tv channels (I think I'm underestimating here) and the websphere it is highly likely that any thought you will ever have has already been had be someone else... posted on a webforum or youtube clip and read/seen by thousands of boring office workers that have nothing better to do then read all the comments after the local news article from Podunksville, ND. And let me tell you, reading online comments from small regional newspapers is always grand. If the town has a population of ~1000 there is a good chance that the people posting know the meth-smoking, convience store robbing, foot pursuit victim who got tazered to death by the local cops on page 6 of the paper.. and if that made page 6 imagine what amazing story made page 1 (if you guess weather information and wal-mart hours, then you'd be right).

Anyways, Tight math. Put simply, the number of cheap fake knock-off accessories a woman owns is directly proportional to the number of children she has. For instance, if a woman is wearing a cubic zirconia, carrying a fake Prada purse and sporting a knock-off Louis Vuitton scarf then it can be understood why she is dragging three kids through the Dollar Tree. Makes sense though doesn't it? Of course there is always the chance of twins, so if a woman is wearing 2 pieces of "wanna-bling" and has three kids, an age check has to be preformed. If the age check fails and the three kids have distinct ages, then it can be concluded that she merely can't wear all the crap bought from the back of a van at once.

Ok, I'm out.

Later

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

thanks to Liz's christmas present last year, I apparently have a kid running aroudn somewhere.

Dave said...

niki, I totally thought you had a kid... or was it boyfriend, either way it is always clinging to you. And yes, I went there.

Anonymous said...

ouch dave, that hurt, i mean you accused me of having a boyfriend who wants to spend time with me, and I with him....ouch man, that's just cruel

Dave said...

wanting to spend time, and spending every minute of every day are two seperate things.

J Williams said...

spending every minute of every day and bursting out of your chest in an explosion of bone and gore are two separate things.

just sayin'...

I WILL BE IN ARKANSAS SOON WILL YOU SEE ME? WILL YOU?

Anonymous said...

joey = wisdom, dave = just kind of mean

lacy smith lister said...

uuuuupdaaaaatte.

that is all.